The Purple Man
by Inthe-EyesofMarch
Summary: A continuation of book nine... Remember when Visser Three was dyed purple in trying to get rid of that skunky smell? Here's what happened afterwards....


AN: Got the idea from Ms.Tria, though I don't think I could've made as nearly as perverse as she could've! Thanks for letting me use the idea-- it was a joy to write! I hope he's not OOC though, lol.

**The Purple Man**

_(aka, the Visser's Bad Day)_

The smell took weeks to evaporate, and after about twenty decapitations because of my lost temper. The grape juice had dyed my fur a royal purple, but at least the smell was finally gone. Hopefully my fellow Yeerks would fail to realize the slight gender differences of Andalites-- and if any one did, they would not dare to laugh at me.

I boarded the blade ship, everyone trying not to make eye contact with me-- just the way I liked it. Oh well, I would have to order some blue dye from the Yeerk catalogue. A minor set back, and nobody in the empire would ever know. Death threats are highly effective when you have a long tail with a blade attached to the end of it, and assorted morphs at your fingertips.

Visser One, nor the council would ever know about this.

It took only minutes to reach the mother ship, and I came onto it briskly-- and of course with dignity. Slowly I began to think that things weren't going to be all that bad.

My red bands all stood in a line to either side as I walked down my end of the ship. As soon as I passed the last two, they all turned and followed me. When I finally came to my most favorite part of the ship seconds later, they stopped. Ahhh... The prisoner's wing.

I heard the shield gates stop humming as they momentarily cut off to allow me through. To take my mind off the Andalite bandits I had been looking forward to torturing the Hawjabran caravan that had just been captured and delivered here two days ago.

But unfortunately, that was not what I saw.

A Yeerk deliveryman stood in the doorway, checking off something on a clipboard. On the front of his white jumpsuit had printed Yeerk-X, with the optical illusion of an arrow pointing both ways. And behind him there were cages full of Andalite Warriors.

I could tell that there were remnants of fear carved out on their filthy faces, but it was gone, their faces suddenly blank as they laid eyes on me. --Until that is one of them decided to open their thought-spoken minds. ((Hey, look at this,)) he said, amused, elbowing one of his companions, ((The Visser decided to get a gender change!))

"Excuse me sir, can you sign here," said the delivery Yeerk, indicating the board.

Seething, my tail whipped forward in reply to his remark, cutting the board in half in his hands. The Yeerk subordinate looked down at the board, trying to figure out what to do. After a moment he looked up. "Thank-you," he mumbled, and carefully walked around me. Good-- he was at least still afraid. That was until--

"Have a nice day!" he said snickering. Unfortunately he was out of range. Plus there was the fact that the field gate was activated, and my tail managed to hit the field trying to send his head rolling. And unfortunately that also sent an uncomfortable shock throughout my body.

Roars of laughter entered my head, coming from my new prisoners. They weren't terrified! They were amused! Amused! I was the most feared Visser in the whole galaxy because I had the host body of their own people-- I was more than a match against them. And they were laughing!

Where was that blue dye that I needed?

((Haha! Looks like along with his gender change, it seems the dreaded Visser has also gotten more idiotic!)) said the same one.

I stepped up to this fool, and asked his name, my face very close to his. I was intimidating-- that much I knew because a glimmer of seriousness entered his stupid green eyes. ((Allihar-Hjimeran-Scoloth,)) he answered simply. Then I realized that he was just trying to keep his face straight so that he could hold back more laughter.

Then he did something that sent me out of the room seething. He raised his hand close to the field at the level of my head, his face portraying mock-softness. ((I haven't seen a female in so long... You make such a beautiful lady!))

((Allihar!)) called one of the other Andalites from somewhere around the crowded prisoner hall, ((His figure doesn't look like that of a female's!)) He said this poignantly, and the room held its breath for the reply, just as I began to storm out of the hall.

((I'll take anything at this point!)) was the last thing that I heard from the imbecile before the door had the chance to close behind me.

Throughout the day I tried going back into the room to instill fear into the hearts of them, only to storm back out of the room. I tried everything. I tried killing off the ringleader first, taking him into a separate room and torturing him. He screamed loud enough for the rest to hear, the electric flares bright enough to spark into the prisoner's hall, but in the end he went unconscious, blacking out because of how hard he was laughing. Laughter. They just told me that at least he didn't die in pain or in fear-- a great way to go!

I was beginning to think that I was becoming humane!

I tried making the room smaller and darkening it a bit to increase the effect in hopes of making them claustrophobic.

One even smacked my rump with his hand! They laughed the loudest during that day, even if his hand lay twitching on the ground. But I refused to give them the benefit of me storming to my rooms and staying there until I got the proper dyes. Refused. Of course that was what I should have done to begin with because they seemed to laugh even more with every visit that I made.

By the evening, I leaned against the wall, wondering what I could do, and how much I would have to pay for an emergency delivery for the fur dye that I so needed.

((You know, this is going to be the most emotionally scaring thing in my entire life,)) Alloran said in an in-a-matter-of-fact tone. ((All those times that they were flirting with you, made me feel like I was cheating on my wife-- though I am starting to see why she did marry me.))

I hissed, trying to send him to the back of his own mind. He even had a sense of humor in all of this!

"Having problems Visser Three?" said a voice down the hall. My eyestalk immediately knew who it was, but I tried to ignore it, hoping that I was blind. As the day went on, it seemed to get worse.

((No,)) I snarled, my eyes turning to slits.

"Ahhh, of course," she replied smugly, waving a clipboard in her hand. Two halves of the clipboard in each hand.

((What is that?)) my voice mechanically asked, dangerous.

"Oh?" She glanced innocently at the board, "This old thing?" Edriss waited, a dramatic pause. "Why, this is the order form that I signed, giving the delivery to you as a gift. I thought it was worth it-- after all I would never give up the chance to torture a group of Andalites... Unless for a good reason." Her tiny white teeth glimmered in the light because of how large she smiled at me.

((IT WAS YOU?!)) I shouted, my voice probably echoing throughout the mother ship. The roars of thought-speak laughter echoed, loud enough for both of us to hear.

"And by now, had you been your normal self, you would have killed them all-- but you're even too embarrassed... And proud because they all have to die in fear!" She laughed mockingly at me. She swaggered ahead of me, her gold bands shoving past me like some self-absorbed clique. Helpless, I followed her into the room. For once, in a very long time in my life, I was helpless-- but this time I had a host!

When she was in the room (I was still out of sight, tired of all the laughter), she spoke to the now-conscience leader. "Now, shall I return you to your ship, just as promised?" She smiled smugly at the warrior.

((Yes--))

"And may I make you complete one more favor?" She only paused for a moment, knowing probably what the warrior's answer would be. "Tell as many people about Visser Three's rather poor dye job. This is more for my enjoyment than yours. You would have been dead otherwise had this not arisen."

((Understood-- and likewise,)) grinned the Andalite.

I was too shocked; the delivery boy pushing passed me, knowing that he was protected by a higher-ranking Visser. I-I-I think I fainted at the shock of how horrible this all was.

I woke up sometime later, deciding that it was all a dream. Iniss had me taken to my private rooms, and assured me that I hadn't been demoted. I trotted all the way to the Prisoner's wing and checked to see if it had all been real, and not some nightmare. I sighed in relief. It was a dream. There was not a single Andalite prisoner in the room.

Feeling rather peckish, I went to the Cafe that the mother ship owned. I was myself-- no one was laughing at me, and continued their distance and caution around me. Marvelous. Alloran even began to think that it was some wonderful dream, and I knew that if my host thought it, it must have surely been true.

That was until I entered the Cafe. The room was loud from all the talking and shifting of human eating wares-- that was before any of them had seen me. The whole room went dead silent, and I began to feel a sense of dread somewhere deep inside of me. It wasn't a nightmare. It was real.

Visser One first began to laugh, giving the command to everyone else around her that it was okay to laugh at the purple fool that walked around as if nothing had happened. I felt as if my head would explode because of how huge the sound was-- and... And that was when I degutted a Hork-Bajir warrior, storming out of the room as his insides sloshed to the floor, the laughter ever louder. I then hated my life because that was at least the tenth time that I had to leave a room.


End file.
